Foreign Encounters: Putting ourselves in boxes

Source: Photopin

This week, I came across this PDF version of the book, "How I found freedom in an unfree world" by Harry Browne via the blog of another freedom seeker. According to William Glasser, I'm a freedom nut; therefore, Browne's book piqued by interest.

It reads a bit like a hippie manifesto (except he's actually a staunch libertarian) with a strong overarching theme of self-reliance. Note: There's also several dated sections about women, which shows how quickly our role in society has changed over the last 50 years.

Browne begins by recognizing that each individual is different and has his or her own unique emotional nature. This rings true to David Foster Wallace's belief that:

"Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else."

We live in a paradox where we all have our own individual emotional natures, yet we are all taught to want the same things to meet those needs. Brown states that:

"To find happiness, you must know how your unique emotional nature responds to things. You must observe and take seriously you own emotional reactions. For it you attempt to fit your emotions to a preconceived standard, you lose touch with yourself and blind yourself to the most important part of yourself -- to what would make you happy."

Essentially, there is a cause (i.e., something external that happens) and an effect (i.e., how you emotionally react to that cause). It's crazy to repeatedly try to change the effect because our emotional nature is somewhat innate. It's more logical to change the cause -- or, more likely, the environment -- that's causing you misery.

Browne wisely states that:

"Your positive emotions are seeds of a tastier life. They're trying to tell you how you can be happy. If you ignore them, suppress them, or deny them, you lose the vital guideposts that could lead you toward happiness."

Personally, I try to think about the people I admire -- those people I really wish I was. For the most part, they are artists, entrepreneurs, free thinkers, authors, inventors, humanitarians and creators; they are not powerful corporate business men (or women). This exercise creates guideposts that steer me to who I want to be.

Even if you have a strong sense of identity (I'm working on that, but am not quite there), you still find yourself in traps and boxes.

Browne believes that:

"You're in the trap when you continue to do something long after you've stopped enjoying it, or it's something you never enjoyed much to begin with, of if you're bored by most everything you do. [...] If you deny your feelings, all the intelligent thinking and planning in the world won't lead to happiness."

We put our own boxes around ourselves and a our possibilities.

"Most social restrictions are self-inflicted. Your life is yours to choose.

[...] You don't have to work at a 'normal' job. You can try your luck at anything. Do you want to be an artist? Tour guide? Gigolo?

[...] You don't have to spend your money on a new car and a respectable home to impress your neighbors, business associates, and friends. Why should you. Let them eat TV dinners in their new cars while you use your money to take the vacation you've always wanted.

Do you want to grow a beard or have longer hair? Do it. If your employer objects, look for a job where it's not a problem. Don't expect your employer to forsake his self-interest for you; but neither is there any reason for you to foresake yours for him."

How many times have we put limits on yourselves?

I use to say, "I can't do that. I'm not creative." Now, I've taken up a LOT of creative hobbies, from painting to photography to app building. People now identify me as a "creative" person
I use to say, "I can't to that. I didn't go to the right school." Now I work at Google, which is a place I never thought I'd work a decade ago.
I use to say, "I can't have a boyfriend. I'm not that type." Now, I live with my boyfriend of 3 years
I use to say, "I'll never get out of Texas." Now, I've traveled to 55 countries and lived in London, Boston, San Francisco and Singapore.

I'm not unique. It just takes some perseverance. These are often traps that we laid ourselves through limited thinking.

The opposite of "traps" & "boxes" is "freedom"

"Freedom is living your life as you want to live it. And you can do that by choosing to do so. You can be free. No one can stop you.

[...] You don't have to reject your own interests and live by someone else's code. You don't have to forsake you own happiness for the benefit of anyone. You don't have to obey the laws that the 'majority' has decided are 'right.' You don't have to follow the leadership of politicians, prophets or philosophers.

You don't have to distort your emotions, tastes, and values to confirm to the 'norms' other things are best for you. You are free to live your life as you want. You could get into your car right now and drive to anywhere you choose. There's nothing stopping you. The only reason not to do that is if there is something better for you where you are now. The demands and wishes of others don't control your life. You do. You make the decisions. And the only standard should be to make the decisions that will bring you greatest happiness"

Man, isn't that refreshing?

You can do whatever the f*** you like, as long as it's true to you and doesn't intentionally hurt someone else. Forget the "I can do XYZ because I'm not [insert adjective]." At least give it a try. Plus, you'll likely find along the way that some of the things are true to you are also good for society / the greater good.

In fact, the best way for you to create the world you wish to exist is to live that out.