I post, therefore I am

I work in tech; therefore, my livelihood comes from people spending more and more time online.  Despite this, I've been known to question its impact on society -- whether it be Pinterest, Facebook or Smartphones.

In the video above, the creator makes the point that "Instead of building real friendships, we are obsessed with endless personal promotion"

We've become addicted to social networks -- now, we are able to manage our social lives more efficiently than ever before. We don't need to meet in real time; instead, we can have highly curated and well-edited conversations with people. We create experiences so we can share them publicly, not necessarily for the experience itself.

According to psychologist Jean Twenge, today's young generation is more narcissistic than ever before. Narcissism correlates with materialism, the desire to be famous, inflated expectations, fewer committed relationships, more "hooking up," more gambling and more cheating -- all of which are on the rise.

And, we generally have a self-serving bias, which tends to favor ourselves over our peers (see the below excerpt from my Coursera class using the textbook "Social Psychology" by Myers).

Social networks have made us believe:

1. We can put our attention where ever we want it to be

2. We can always be heard

3. We never have to be alone (yet feel even more lonely)

I'm by no means above this. Although not on Facebook, I blog, tweet, email, gchat, instagram and G+ with the best of them. I also curate what I say and dismiss the less glamour parts of my life.

For example, we hosted a dinner party on Saturday, and I shared this GIF on G+. It's fun. It makes me feel like I'm fun.  

On the other hand, I didn't share photos of the next day, hanging out in bed hungover wearing my post comfortable piece of attire (i.e., a hot pink moomoo dress from Burning Man). I even wore that dress in public for my one exit from the apartment to pick up chicken rice -- good thing I ran into several apartment neighbors along the way.

And, this is true for most things I post.

I don't love posting photos of myself, but when I do, be sure that I think I look above average that day.  It probably won't be a workday where I spend 10 minutes getting ready and walk to my desk with a wet braid and no makeup (note: there may or may not be marks on my face from my face mask).

If I write something about my day, I'll try to pick out the piece that makes me look the most interesting or smart.  I delete the parts about taking multi-hour naps or eating like a college student whenever Alan is out of town (i.e., peanut better from the jar or order-in pizza, why not!). 

Likewise, I'll say I work for Google, feeling proud of myself, but I'll leave out pieces about jumping teams as often as I change my wardrobe or being stuck right in the middle of the organization (half more senior, half more junior).

But, I think it's fine to curate.  I mean, no one really wants to read about my marathon peanut-butter eatings or complaining about work, right?

But, it's important to be self-aware that these sides of you exist.  And, make sure you have real, solid offline friendships where people see all these sides -- the pretty and the ugly (i.e., with sleep mask lines).

So, in conclusion, I can throw a mean dinner party, but I play sous chef because I can't really cook.  I love wearing a moomoo around the apartment while watching Hunger Games in bed.  And, I did these things with all real people -- my partner, Alan, and new friends in Singapore-- that know both sides exist.  

As long as I know this, I think its fine for me to continue on with social networking.