Should we be more pessimistic?

There's not really a right answer to the title of this post (it was more for you to click, hehe).  Therefore, success is mine if you're reading this.

Anyways, I digress.  In the School of Life sermon above, Alain de Botton argues that a bit more pessimism could be good for us.  How can that be true?  What about positive psychology & Dale Carnegie?

Well, life is tough.  We all know that (unless, you happen to be delusional).

From the most pessimistic of viewpoints, life is meaningless.  we all die.  and, along the way,    we'll face a lot of shit.  That's a pretty sad story, right?

Well, in western societies (especially in the US), we've created a self-help genre to deal with this phenomenon.  

It falls into two categories:

• Be like me & you'll be awesome (think Joel Osteen & Anthony Robbins).  Note: these types of books can be recognized by the A) smug men in business suits, B) dollar signs on the cover.
• Aww, you have low self-esteem too?  There are 65K results for "low self-esteem" on Amazon, so it's obviously a popular genre (not just for women with lots of cats).

What do these two things have in common?

Well, if we fail (and never become a smug man on a self-help book cover), then we feel like it's 100% our fault, especially in a "meritocratic" society where we are told that winners deserve what they get.  And, losers also deserve what they get.

So, what does Alain de Botton suggest?

He suggests that we reduce our expectations, which will reduce our envy and disappointment.

It's really difficult to find happiness in love and work (especially both at the same time).  It's okay to fail at these things along the way.  In fact, it's human to fail.  Rather than trying to hide our errors (or conceal them via smiling photos on Facebook), he suggests we use these moments of sadness to connect with others and to reflect on what could be done differently.

As Nietzsche (a famous pessimist) said, "What does not kil us makes us stronger."

(Source: Unknown)